Piggish little imbecileChomping away with a smileWhat do you think you’re getting at?Eating so much, growing fat?Sam physically cringed as his girlfriend – former girlfriend, if Sam was being honest about his feelings – had become little more than a pig, lead to the scale to be measured. And they were singing, no less. The loompas were running measuring tape around various parts of her, pinching her and testing her body fat percentages. They scribbled and took notes, treating her like a piece of meat.“S-sstop… nfff… oink… brrauarrrup…” Allison protested, but more weakly with every chomp of the gum. Tottering from one side to the other in a slow waddle, she stepped up to the scale, her belly now drooping down close to her knees. She was clearly struggling just to maintain her slow plodding pace, and she was still fattening up with no end in sight.“Six hundred sixty-two pounds!” Sam shouted, seeing the number on the scale. His jaw dropped. “How is she ever going to lose that much. " See, I was a man of the eighties: I knew about stuff like that."That doesn't make a difference either way, does it? I'm pregnant," she answered a bit defensively. But then she shook it off. "Sorry, Rudy. You're just trying to help, and I'm snapping at you. So I'm supposed to take the first day, huh? God, I don't know, it's just how I understood it in sex-ed. Good thing I didn't sleep around too much or I would have got pregnant much earlier."That was pretty much the extent of our conversation but it made me think. She must have slept with Theo the Weasel after her return to Charlottesville, to guess from her ranting that I had overheard. 'One last time' she had said. If her receptive window had been earlier, then the child may still be mine. After all, I had not used any protection, trusting Lilly to know her cycle. God, how could that be? Here she was, the daughter of two world-renowned scientists, and she screwed up her calendar?I was a regular dinner guest at the Rosenzweig house.
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