She asks me what I use when I masturbate. I gulp and look at the girls. I explain that my favorite ways are to use a vibrating back massager I have, and showerheads work well, too. a lot of times I use my fingers, especially while in school. ‘You do it at school?’ ‘well, yeah. it gives me a rush.’ I turn to Anne and ask her the question, and she says dare. I tell her we are going to play ‘ are you nervous?: a game where I am going to run my hand up your leg, and you try not to flinch.’ ‘okay…’ Asi, I start running my hand, and she bites her lip, fighting her automatic reaction. I get closer to the hem of her shorts…closer…and finally only when I get under them does she shiver, and I stop. we look at each other for a few seconds, and finally I take the hand away and she turns to Nora. ‘dare,’ is the reply. she tells her to try my massager. ‘Are you serious?’ ‘It’s a dare. Do it.’ ‘…Um, where is it?’ I just get up and get it, my panties are fucking soaked by now I am so excited. I turn. "I am forty-five years old today," I said to myself. "Is this year going to be any different than the last? Will I do something new and adventurous? Will I get the courage to date again and stop being so damn lonely?" The answer to each of those questions was a resounding "No." I sighed heavily and went up to my room to get ready for work. As I walked towards my closet something caught my eye in the full-length mirror near my dresser. It was me, or rather it was my butt. Nowadays, a white woman with a round ass was commonplace, so I never gave it any thought. I undid my robe and let it fall beside me to the floor as I began to check myself out. After a few minutes I came to a fascinating realization: I was hot! "Damn Sloane, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Yes self, I am. I wouldn't consider myself skinny, but I wouldn't say fat either. I'd use the word "thick,",which I think is a word teenagers use to describe women these days. My breast were were 36DD, but I always wore large.
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