Now and ... over the past few months,since I became Ruth."She lay in silence for a few seconds before resuming."It's not actually penis envy," she said, laughing half-heartedly,"Although God knows ... I really do wish I still had mine. But that'snot it. Not really. It goes much deeper than that."She was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, but she could senseTom nodding his head slowly and sympathetically."I want to be," she resumed slowly, "The clumsy oaf making a fool ofhimself in front of a bunch of girls, who sit there laughing at him,before they turn round and giggle to each other, 'He's gorgeous.' I wantto make a woman feel like a million dollars, be dashing and romantic andmake her swoon. I want her to feel safe and secure when I put strongarms round her. I want her to run her hands over my shoulders and myback and luxuriate in the way they feel to her."But I can't have that. It's been taken away from me. Look at how smallmy shoulders are, and how thin and strengthless. I started noticing the way Graham looked at me and I loved it. I was a tease from as far back as I could remember. I have always been told that my dark dark brown eyes convey a certain cheeky and naughty look. One day he asked me to help him fold laundry. He was never in the habit of doing that. I walked into the laundry room with him. As we closed in on each other while folding a sheet he gently touched my tits through ny waistcoat and blouse trying hard to make it look like it was an innocent mistake. He was testing the waters. I never said anything. When he got close with the next sheet he did it again and touched them for longer. I let him. We heard the door opening so we moved apart. It was Kate looking for me. I went off with Kate and completed my work duties..................The restaurant closed and Kate disappered upstairs to her flat with one of her famous sore heads. Myself and Claire another waitress were tidying up and re-setting the dining room for breakfast the.
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