He asked why. They answered; “We don’t know for sure. The last commander told us to do it, so here we are. It seems to be a tradition of some sort.”The new commander called the old one to ask what the reason was, and the previous commander said; “I don’t know. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”????????????????Thank tavern_knight for this one~“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”“What do you think the man was thinking?”One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a. Well, I wasn't overly worried. As opposed to my opponent, I am a good shot with both my rifle and my pistols. At this range, I figured that I couldn't miss, so I would just lie here and wait him out. I was certain that he would be a dead man as soon as he showed himself.After about an hour of waiting, I saw some stirring in the brush right next to the saddle horse that I had been leading, rather than the one I had been riding. There was some more movement in the brush and a figure started to rise from the ground as if to try to mount the horse."HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, OR YOU'RE A DEAD MAN! I'VE GOT YOU IN MY SIGHTS AND I WON'T MISS AT THIS RANGE!" The potential thief froze in position, so I didn't have to shoot. "DROP YOUR GUN! STAND UP! HOLD YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD!" My orders were followed, and I walked over to see what I had caught.Shit! It's a girl! When I got closer, she started crying. "Stop crying! I won't hurt you. Now, tell me what's going on." Please, Mister, have ya got.
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