But she came right up to me and said that this was the first time I made her feel uncomfortable, my staring like that.I blinked twice and and asked the perfunctory, "Huh?"When Tianna realized I had been day dreaming, she softened her tone and asked me what I was thinking.I told her, "I don't know if I'm ready to be a 'mick' now. They told me I was adopted and that I still can legally use the last name 'Allen', but my born surname was McShane." So?" asked Tianna, not knowing what I was thinking.So I told her, "I hate sitting in the front row in school all the time. Those bastards are constantly bombing us with junk from the back of the room. Mom and dad told me (if I really wanted) that I could use my old dad's last name (McShane) when I get out of grade school."So, why don't you?" suggested Tianna innocently."I didn't want to hurt YOUR feelings - I hope we can continue to be like brother and sister," I responded.(We were still too young to understand the minutia of the legalities -. I think we'll let you hang around a little while." I took that at face value.It is freeing for a man to realize that he is not "the one." Without the pressure that comes with putting together a romantic relationship, I was free to enjoy each day without worrying about the long term effect of every little thing. Sherrie was so deeply immersed in Jennifer's care, that she was left with precious little time for herself, let alone me.With me hanging around, in case something bad were to happen, Jerry felt free to go back to his routine of golf, women, and retirement. Since I don't play golf, wasn't interested in the country club bunnies, and happy to do my own thing, I was free to work around the boat, tell stories to a enthralled Jennifer, and be there for those stolen hours when Sherrie and I could take off our clothes and remind each other that we were good in bed, together.We were good. Sex was good for both of us. My days with Beth Ann trained me to make it very good for my partner,.
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