What about Arnab, Ashwin, Ishan, Aditi, Shana, Mihir and Somesh. I know youve slept with them all. I couldnt say anything. I knew I was weak. I always needed to have sex to feel something. This empty feeling Ive always had seemed to be dying with Manimanjari. I even had thoughts of laying with my father because he was the best but here I stood so damn confused. Everyone was enjoying the fest and here I was wondering whether I lead a sinful life or are cigarettes and sex the only two good things. I was so lost that I could fuck anyone and forget their name come morning. The emptiness had taken over. I was angry with Anobik and I wanted to fuck him there or rather rape him for pointing out at my life. The day passed by with me not understanding a thing. Soon the next day, I picked up my sluttiest possible dress and went out with Anobik and Manimanjari. Both couldnt resist taking up photos and posting them to instagram like the internet zombies they are. The festival got over in no time. I took a pall-mall from the much abused pack on my nightstand and lit up. I don't know if it was the nicotine or what, but there was something calming about a smoke after waking from the dream. This morning would make the one thousand seven hundred and thirty eighth time I relived that hellish day. Why I was obsessed with how often I had the dream was beyond me but kept track. I went on that same fate filled chopper ride an average of three nights a week and every time just as real as the first.After butting my smoke I decided to get up and get the day started. After a quick shower I had a bit of breakfast and three fingers of cheap ass bourbon, that made Jack Daniel's taste like the good shit.I went over and turned on the stereo, tv wouldn't have anything on for a while being only four-thirty am. The Sansui had a great sound for a PX bought stereo. I never regretted the purchase. I jammed to The Who, "My Generation," while I twisted up a joint of some good smoke I had scored the week.
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