The only war Chuck has not fought in was the French and Indian war because Chuck Norris could give a shit less about the French, in Chuck’s opinion the French complain to much and deserve to get their asses kicked. Chuck Norris wins by attrition.Chuck’s Favorite Foods:WhiskeySteel WoolSometimes when Chuck Norris gets tired of Whiskey or steel wool, he’ll eat bread, cheese, tomato paste and a handful of basil, which sounds like a pizza but it’s not because Chuck Norris doesn’t want to give the Italian’s credit.Chuck Norris EncountersOne time for Halloween I was trick or treating and I dressed up like a pussy because you are supposed to dress up in something you are not. I also figured that Chuck Norris would appreciate ironic humor.When I arrived at Chuck’s house it was a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it. I walked up the long staircase which seem like it took days. I knock on his door and the door automatically open up, there was Chuck Norris sitting on his. She stood up, and I thought she had enough of the massage, but she said she would be right back and she went up stairs. When she came back down, she brought some massage lotion and a towel with her. She handed it to me the lotion, spread the towel on the couch, and before she sat down again, she took the ret of her clothes off. Then she laid down on she tummy on the couch and asked me to give her a full body massage. I took the lotion and poured some on her back and began to massage all of her back. Starting at her neck, I worked back and forth down until I got to the small of her back. I did this for about 15 minutes, until all the lotion was gone. Then I poured more lotion on the small of her back and worked that area till the lotion was all gone. After working this area I poured lotion on each of her butt cheeks. I began massaging her butt but working in circles and each time I worked around a circle I would make the circle a little bigger till I was running my fingers between.
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