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But of course Michelle is just sitting there and looking like she is just getting ready to explode. “So tell me already. What's been going on with you two? Will you tell me please? Pretty please?” Michelle asked. “Well the shoe is on the other foot for once. We know something she wants to know. So this is what it feels like? I like it,” I replied. “If you don't tell me right now. There will be some real hell to pay. Do you understand?” Michelle asked. “OK, mom for a couple years at least now, I've kinda been in love with Steve honestly,” I replied. “So this is been going on for a couple years now?” Michelle asked. “No. Yesterday when you two were gone at he party, somehow I finally told him how I felt,” I replied. “Well, to be fair, you showed me first,” Steve said. Then Michelle just had the weirdest look on her face. Maybe she was starting to really think it was just lust. "You showed him?" Michelle asked. “Yes, I wasn't sure what to say, so I just kinda kissed him,” I replied.. That there is the possibility, however remote, of a new beginning, a new start for my failed life. Each day I try. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked about. I hope that someday we can still be friends. Each day I think. Each day I cry. I cry for the love I had to give up. I cry for the longing I have in my heart. I cry for the future that holds no joy for me. I cry and I wonder how I can go on feeling this way, lost and alone. I cry, with the knowing that I am lost, confused and alone. Each day I cry. Each day I worry. I worry that I can and will not make it. That I will attempt something irrational. That I will give in and surrender to my sorrow, my pain, my sadness. To take the cowards way out, the easy way out, the wrong way out. To write off a world that can be a beautiful place to be. So I worry and hope it never comes to this. I do not wish to.
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