. blueprints to my darkest fantasies. I wrote down all the dark thoughts that ran through my head, I didn't miss a detail from when I was 5 and beyond. I wrote about the pregnant woman who had her twins cut out of her stomach and eatten as she died. I wrote about the young girl, no more than seven, who took a meat cleaver from the kitchen and split her father's face down the center for having touched her tender spots a week before-hand. Soon I realized some of these acts of mutilation were performed by me in my dreams, and to people I knew as well as strangers. I never showed anyone these journals, not a soul. Everyone at first wanted to see, but as time grew on, as I changed and became stranger, more... like my current self, people started to back away, they didn't care anymore as long as they were distant from me, the little boy who once seemed so innocent, Erika.I was one fucked up child, but I loved how I was and that never changed. People change a lot over the years but at the. " Well, how about her doctor. Dear Abby is always recommending people see their doctor when they're feeling down." She just misses a man being in her life. I think it's especially a certain part of a man that she misses the most. If you get my drift." Sex?" Bingo, give that man a prize. Yeah, I think Mom is missing a good fuck now and then." Well, she can hire a gigolo, a male prostitute. Women do, I've heard." Oh, come on, how impersonal is that. That's a dick, not loving." Yeah, I suppose you're right. Has she tried an online service to meet people?" She says she has and that it's a bit like a meat market. Most of the guys just wanted a quick fuck and a home-cooked meal. Not necessarily in that order, according to Mom." Well, maybe I can think of some guy at work." You know, Doug, there is a guy where you work that might just be the right one." Now, you don't mean Fred Winters, he's too old." No, you." Shit, Janet, are you kidding? Your Mom, my Mother-in-law?" Come on, I've heard.
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