“By now they might be. The palpably frenzied manner of your departure didn’t seem to others like someone in good health taking their usual relief, and your offhand declaration of infirmity carried to more ears than just the Holbytla’s. Concerns were expressed ... to me ... and I had to dissuade several who wished to investigate for themselves. A task made more difficult by the fact that the identity of ‘Dernhelm’ is now a matter of growing uncertainty and whispered debate. I’m entirely unsure I was able to quell that uncertainty, but in any case I was obligated to come lest someone else take that initiative.”“So you’ve come. Now you can go. Report that Dernhelm sought a few moments of privacy for reasons of his own, and that all is well.”The ice in her tone shredded the air, even as the heat of her arousal still glowed. He did his best to ignore both. “It’s more complicated than you realize. I fear report of the discontent of mysterious Dernhelm may already be making its way to. His voice was calm but his message was blunt and sobering. He informed his young parishioner that he had committed a mortal sin. One so unspeakable that he would not repeat its name. He had allowed his mind to entertain impure thoughts and by obtaining physical pleasure through those thoughts he had abused God’s gift, sinned against his body in the worst possible way. He said that his soul was worthy of hell, but that God would show mercy upon him because he had come forth with a contrite spirit and acknowledged the wrongfulness of his ways. “Five Our Fathers and ten Hail Marys,” he said in conclusion. How his heart had raced with fear as he knelt there, not yet a man and already branded a sinner. He had been absolved but the message was burned upon his consciousness. He could not remember much else about that day. He did not touch himself again, but the harder he tried not to think about her in that way the more relentlessly the thoughts came to him. He prayed to the rosary every.
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