She opened her eyes to see him looking down between them. In a flash he was off her, laying on his stomach as he faced the wall."Ryan?" she whispered. What was the matter? He wouldn't look at her, and she figured it out.What could she say? She felt horrible, ugly and unattractive. But she knew that he didn't think so. She looked the same as she had the last time they did it."It's okay... " she told him, rubbing his back. "Are you drunk?" she asked. She didn't think he was.He shook his head slowly, still not looking at her. He got up then, pulling his pants on in the dark."Where are you going?" she asked. "Are you leaving?" I gotta go," he mumbled."Ryan! Don't leave!"He ignored her, sitting on the bed as he quickly tied his shoes. She touched his arm, but he shook her off."Ryan! Talk to me!" she begged, in tears.He left quietly. She lay back in the bed, crying. Why wouldn't he talk to her? She didn't care about what happened. Maybe he thought she thought he was a failure or something?. This event occurred in early January 2021 just before England entered its 3rd lockdownThe kids were asleep, James and I had just finished an energetic love making session. James has part of one arm missing so always sleeps on his back. He had nodded off to sleep and I found myself thinking about Janice, what was the reason for her been so brazen that she would walk the streets nude in daylight. I wondered if this was a night for the van to be parked up. I gently slipped out of bed to look out if the window and yes the big black van was there. I wanted to see inside the van I wanted to see Janice I could not say why. It was such a strong urge that I pulled my gown on to coved my nudity, crept downstairs trying not to wake the kids.I stepped outside and shivered it was cold, my feet were bare. I felt drawn to the van and even more drawn to Janice as though she was a magnet. I have never had sexual feelings towards a woman so it was a strange sensation. I crossed the road and paused; I.
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