‘You just described me,’ she said with sadness. ‘And then you come along and I’m saying something that I’ve never said to anyone before,’ he said looking at her, ‘that I love you. I love you Susan Jill Parker,’ he said lifting her chin to look in her eyes. ‘I love you. I don’t care if you don’t want me to say it and/or if you don’t love me but I can’t help from feeling what I feel and what I feel for you is a deep love and affection that transgresses just having sex. If I wanted just sex I could pay to have sex with Simone, Lucy, and/or Carmen.’ ‘Don’t,’ she said putting her fingers to his lips. ‘Please stop saying that you love me when we both know that you don’t and when we both know that you just want to be in love with someone, anyone, to feel something other than death and pain.’ ‘You’re wrong about that. Yeah, sure, I’m a desperate man filled with anger and hate but I do love you, I do.’ ‘Sorry Dave but I can’t love you. I don’t have it in me to love you. I don’t have it in me. ’ Micki turned and winked and Kitty grinned and said yes, Micki was a tough-ass bitch. They turned in and passed under the high metal arch over the gates holding a sign, ‘Tikitiki Farm’. ‘Tiki is a New Zealand Maori word.’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Omigod you are a former New Zealander and probably from Canterbury and that would explain why you had your sons receive their higher education there and why that scholarship is awarded.’ ‘Micki will you shut up.’ ‘Why? Omigod it took you years to erode local hostility that you were a Kiwi bride.’ ‘Yes you smart-ass. Now just forget it. There’s no need to stir sleeping dogs with long memories.’ ‘Kitty is a Kiwi, Kitty is a Kiwi.’ Kitty said evenly, ‘Do you want you pretty face scratched? You are making me very angry.’ ‘Kitty is an Aussie, Kitty is an Aussie.’ ‘Thank you darling. We are driving through wheat land that is presently been rested growing grass that is being grazed by our Merino sheep. My son Andrew manages the sheep, Joe manages the Angus cattle.
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