As an example, I am really not very satisfied with how the Katerei and Gorath storyline played out. I fell into the Shyamalan trap of having a twist for the twists sake. By the time I got to chapter 11 or so, I realized that the big reveal that Kat and Gor were spies would have little to no pay off. What I should have done was make that clear up front, have Kat and Gor slowly begin to doubt their mission as they grew closer to Jeanette, before finally making the decision to defect and come clean. Meanwhile, Jeanette would be growing closer to them, to the point where she is considering leaving Turogg, or figuring out a way to make it all work. Then when it is revealed there will be a much bigger impact. I also should have arranged for it to happen sooner, so it’s not all resolved in a single chapter. One of the improvements that Rebellion had was multiple POVs and stories. However, as I learned, it was hard to move the plot forward enough when cramming three stories into one chapter.. ’ She responded with a dizzying amount of passion that left my head spinning, but we pulled away from one another anyhow.‘Shh,’ I warned her, with a teasing smile, putting a finger to her lips playfully. She smiled back in kind, pretending to nip at my finger, as I unlocked the back door.The light over the stove was on, as it always was at night, and we crept down the back stairs like smugglers, quiet.The door to my room creaked slightly as I closed it. This only inspired a small spark of anxiousness in me, which was immediately assuaged when I saw Cindy perched on my bed, sweetly smiling. We had been teasing each other the whole walk home, pausing to press up against street lights or, once, to stop by a park bench where I sat and she straddled me, French kissing passionately as my hand stole up her skirt, rubbing her clit insistently and then sheathing two fingers into her tight pussy. She had whimpered at that, and begun to move onto my hand as if she were riding my cock, her kisses.
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