I have the ability to shoot you. But at the same time, I am anything but heroic. That’s what the OTHER people are there for.Me? I do whatever it takes to stay out of harm’s way.The Jarheads I am billeted with are either too unimaginative or too stupid to grasp the concept of their own grisly death. I guess that’s why we call them “bullet catchers.”But then again, they’re kids. I am a little older and a whole lot wiser. And so, if there’s a call to do anything ill-advised I am ALWAYS at the back of the line.Fortunately, nobody sees me for what I really am - which is a totally non-aggressive geek. Everybody thinks of me as some kind of swashbuckling, latter-day, electronic beau sabreur.That is strictly a misperception on their part. I am much bigger than average. And my craggy good-looks leave people with the impression that I am the essence of stalwart courage.Which just goes to show you that appearances can be deceiving.You can forget about all of the Hooorahhh bullshit that you hear. When I woke up, it was just as the surgeon had warned me. I hurt everywhere. I felt myself moan and a sweet nurse came to my side, “Hello, honey. You did beautifully. Let me get the doctor. Sit tight.”The doctor was there in no time, explaining my healing process and what to expect. I could hear my grandfather’s voice somewhere in the room as well. I was slowly sat up and moved into a wheel chair.Once I was in the car, Grandpa made sure he drove slowly and avoided anything that would jar me. I was thankful. The pain medication was taking the edge off, but everything still hurt.At home, Grandpa had hired a nurse to keep an eye on my surgeries and change my dressings as needed.It took weeks to heal. The nurse used essential oils and home remedies that speeded things up and I progressed much more quickly than we all expected. I had been under constant supervision since the surgeries and was not allowed to look in any mirrors or, as usual, touch myself.During my recovery, I had.
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