For whatever reason, I cannot ‘do’ relationships, Emma. Whenever anyone gets close to me, I retreat into my carapace and allow my deepest needs to be fulfilled through what I write. All my desires find form within my mind, and then are transformed into word after word, page after page of expression and emotion.” I remained silent, nodding as if to signal my concerned understanding at what she was trying to convey. “Last night, when we kissed,” she whispered, “I felt all those feelings of insecurity and fear surge through me like wild, crackling electricity. You know that my body was responding to you, don’t you. But my mind was also suddenly beginning to become paralyzed with fear. All I could think of was to detach myself, to be alone, shut myself away and write again. It’s almost as though my reality only now exists on sheets of vellum and expressed through ink on a page. It is as though I need to somehow express my feelings in a story, rather than experience it myself. It’s where. Ten minutes later a pick up truck pulled up and parked and two more guys got out and went into the house. I noticed that none of them rang the bell. I waited half an hour and then I got out of my car and walked around Jana's house to see what I might be able to see. Unfortunately all the shades were pulled down tight and I couldn't see a thing. I went back to my car and sat and watched the house. At eleven thirty people started leaving and by twelve (and by my count) only Jana, Lea, Terry and three guys were left. At twelve-ten Terry and a guy came out and got in the pick up truck. They sat and talked for about five minutes and then Terry's head disappeared from view and I knew the guy was getting a blow job. I pulled out and headed for home. I wanted to be there when Terry got home. I knew she had just sucked a cock, but I needed to find out if she'd been fucked.She came in the front door at one o'clock and was surprised to find me waiting for her in the living room."What are you.
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