I tried to make myself go over the railing, but I simply couldn't. Myfear of heights crippled me, I couldn't help thinking of how much itwould hurt if I somehow survived.So I sat down and sobbed instead.I was still crying when I heard a voice call to me, "Miss? Are youalright?"I looked up, and there was a female police officer standing a few feetaway from me."No. I'm not alright. I can't even die properly." I sobbed."Maybe you should try living instead?" I can't live. I can't be the girl I think I am. I can't survive as theboy everyone thinks I am. I ... what's the use." I stood up, and tookhold of the railing that was the only thing separating me from a fallinto the river below."There's plenty of use, hon," the policewomen said."What use?" I cried."How old are you?" Nine ... Nineteen." The use is what might happen when you're twenty. Or forty, or sixty, orhowever long your lifespan turns out to be. There could be somethingamazing right around the corner, but you have to make it to. This was how William had ended up in this blasted heat;the site manager (an old friend) had gladly let William take over theexcavation. William began to gently hack away at the wall, which washollow; hopefully the space behind would hide something worthwhile.Scud held the light as he stood behind the professor, the old man wasdefinitely gay, Scud decided. The prof was one of those stereotypicaldandy Englishmen, dressed in a dusty shirt and a long pair of shorts,right down to the cravat he wore around his neck. The man was kindacool though, he was interesting and intelligent he seemed to be able torelate to young people, which surprised Scud. When he first arrived hedetected some sort of come on from the old guy, but he'd made itobvious that he wasn't interested and everything was OK now. Scud hadapplied to come over from California, as a year out student to get workexperience, which universities apparently preferred. Scud had alwayswanted to be an archaeologist since he first watched.
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