To wo ghar pe nahi thi. Sirf wo aur unka ladka hi tha. Khana khan eke baad wo upar ki room me chala gaya son eke liye. Aur me aur aunty tv dekne lage aur baate karne lage. Baato bato me humara topic uncle pr chala gaya aur aunty thoda senti ho gayi aur rone lagi. Me unke karib hi baitha tha. To mene unke kandhe pe hath rakh diya aur unko samzhane laga ki jo ho gaya wo ho gaya. Usko yaad karke jyada pareshan mat ho aur unko hasane ki koshish karne laga. Lekin aunty samjhne ko bilkul hi ytayar nahi thi. Fir thodi der baad wo uthi aur rote rote bathroom ki taraf chali gayi apna chehera dhone ke liye. Us waqt raat ke 10:30 baje the. Mujhse raha nahi gaya aur me unke paas chala gaya unko manane. Fir mene unko tauliya diya aur tauliya dete waqt mera hath unki chuchi ko galti sw lag gaya. Lekin unhone ignore kar diya. Fir wo pani pine lagi. To me niche rakha glass uthane jhuka to wo thoda piche khiski aur unki gand ko mera hath touch ho gaya. Is bar mere dimag me thodi gandi feeling aa. I swear that those drugs make my hair growfaster.Still he says that I am too manly and unattractive to Scott. I amtrying. I have practiced looks in the mirror. Little upward glancesacross the kitchen with a little smile, as if to say: "Hi there, I'm asilly little girl just like the kind you might fall in love with".Sometimes I think that I am getting somewhere, and then he puts me down.Then I think that he must hate me. He seems to enjoy making me cry. Inever used to cry, when I was a man. Now I just blubber like a babywhenever he is nasty to me.I just accept it. I hope and pray that tomorrow will be better - thattomorrow he will appreciate all that I have done, all that I have givenaway, to be his.Diary Entry 20He barely notices me, but other people do. I used to see my staff in thekitchen talking about me and maybe giggling, as if saying: "There is thechef who is trying to be a woman". Now I don't see it that much. PeopleI don't know have started calling me "Miss", or.
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