I knew I didn't want to do that. Yet as I thought about it I knew that I needed to do it in order to get past some of the hurts; to properly salve and heal my wounds. I paused to stretch and pulled the first horrid thing from my memory. I realized that my father could have killed me or at least permanently injured me on several occasions. How he had managed not to do so was a question I hadn't really examined. I would need to consider that. I might even ask James to help me set up a sleep-trainer to see if it could do something on the order of a CAP test with my memories and help me observe what had happened from a point of not being the recipient of the blows.Not quite as horrible, but still a sore point, was whether or not Mr. Jacob had molested me that day? I wasn't sure if that was when the molestation that he did to me began or if it was later. My reading on psychology suggested that if he had not molested me that day, he had certainly begun to groom me to accept his molestation. We hadn’t given ourselves away yet, but it had been less than a week. If they lived with us, there was certainly a greater danger of them discovering something they shouldn’t.I voiced all these concerns to the room.“Do you think they expect the offer?” asked Amanda. “I mean, we are all close. Given they know we have all the spare rooms, do you think they will be upset if we don’t offer for them to come live with us.?”“Jules,” I said, “would Josh living here make you nervous? It’s one thing seeing him at PSU, or even in my room, but living in the same house, and if we were to play...”She considered it. “I didn’t feel threatened by him when you went for your run. He got up, went into the bathroom, and got dressed, then left the room for a few minutes while I got out of bed. He was a gentleman. I don’t think I would like to be in the room if you and he were having sex. Not that I would mind seeing it, I just wouldn’t have the level of trust I have with you guys. Maybe that would build.
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