It was hard to accept the reality that mysweet, bright, beautiful daughter was gone...that I would never see hergraduate from high school, that I would never walk her down the aisle onher wedding day, that she would never be able to make me a grandfather.It was a lot to process. A lot.Beth?mom?and I finally both made our own peace with the reality of it,but you can't begin to imagine what it was like unless you have livedit. God, I feel like I want to cry....this is why I try not to reliveit. Thank you, honey. Thank you for holding me. Thank you for nottreating me like some kind of monster.I needed regular physical therapy for quite a while as I adjusted tothis body. I had to re-learn how to walk, sit, run, eat, and speak. Ihad to learn how my new body worked. That was quite an education! I canlaugh about it now, but it was not fun at the time. The very first timeI had my legs in stirrups was quite an occasion. I remember asking thegynecologist, 'Damn, doctor! Don't you ever think. .. man ... need ... shower.”She giggled.I overruled her agreement with Mom and decided to get back to Mom’s, after stopping at Mickey D’s for some breakfast. Carol had found another dress in my closet that fit, and she looked lovely, as we were tooling down the 85 back towards La Cienega, where ‘our’ folks live.She turned to me and sighed.“Why the big sigh?” I asked.“After the last 24 hours, I’m really going to miss being with you, Rann.”“You’re not getting away from me, that easy, Beautiful. We’re just stopping off at the house.”“What exactly is going on in that devious big brother mind of yours?”“You’re going to pack a suitcase for staying at my place during the rest of the run of WEST SIDE STORY and after you get that part in SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS, it would make even more sense to just stay with me until...”“Until, when, Rann?”“Until I find a bigger place for us both to live.”“Ohh Rann,” she gave me a huge hug.“I want a bigger place to entertain you. We could even hold.
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