‘Are you talking about me or my dog?’ I always said with a laugh, my icebreaker with a cute guy, whenever they paid more attention to my dog, than to me. ‘Both,’ They’d always say and we’d walk the park with our dogs, while learning more about one another. Better than online dating, sometimes meeting someone at the dog park is better than meeting someone at a bar or a club. There they are in front of you in bright sunlight. Unable to mask themselves with cologne and nice clothes, most guys wear jeans and a sweatshirt at the park. Alone with their dogs, especially when watching them playing with and interacting with their animals from afar, you get to see the real person without all the pretense getting in the way. For me, the dog park was my barometer to finding a good and kind man. I don’t trust people who don’t have a pet or like people who don’t like animals. C’mon, really, how could you not love a cat, a dog, a bird, or a horse? Now, that Duchess is gone, I don’t have a dog to. . we were that disgusting couple that couldn’t be away from each other for more than a few minutes. We finished each other’s sentences, and blurted out the same things.We always knew and felt what the other was feeling and in that instance of connection, I suddenly understood and felt some of the devastation that I had wrought.My brother had been right. The whole time, I had only thought about how everything had affected ME. Since the very second that Mark had walked out on me ... through two very quick divorces ... their ninety day waiting periods ... a pregnancy and uhm ... miscarriage ... I had only thought about myself.But the look of pain on Mark’s face as he stood there, in front of the crowd ... doing his God damnedest to appear normal, hit me like a lead pipe.His pain was there for everyone to see. It was as if he’d stepped up there in front of everyone as naked as a jaybird and it was all MY fault.I suddenly felt light headed and grabbed the edge of the pew for support. I.
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