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My mom barely looked up from the Saturday, London Free Press newspaper as I walked through our den into the kitchen. “You’re home earlier than I thought. I’m guessing the girls didn’t win their game this morning, huh.”I then proceeded to give my mom the details of my very interesting Saturday, minus my little Cathy episode. My mom only asked a few questions during my revelation, so when I finished up telling her that I was kinda tired and looking forward to simply relaxing with the Leafs’ game on TV, she suggested,“You better give your honey a call before it gets too late. If that pain pill has worn off, she might be up and about.”“I will, Mom, thanks,” I replied as I replaced the water pitcher in the fridge. I grabbed my large plastic tumbler of H2O and proceeded back across the den to our rotary phone. As I picked up the receiver to dial, I wished I could just go upstairs and make this call in private with my computer. However, that option went down the tubes when my mom suggested I. "Arrr, I'm a pirate!"I gasped. "Oh no, help! You didn't warn me! I thought you were a friendlyAdmiral!" Arrr!" What are you going to do with me, Mister Pirate?" Walk the plank!" he crowed, waving an imaginary sword. He must have beenwatching some pirate movie.So I let him use tape to tie my hands behind my back. This is a bad ideafor most babysitters because it gives the kid a distinct tacticaladvantage over you, but I trusted the little guy.He poked his finger into the small of my back as if it were a knife. "Walkthe plank!" he commanded.I walked timidly in a straight link, one foot in front of the other, andstopped. "This is the end of the plank," I explained."Jump!" he ordered. I jumped up and down in one place."No, jump inna water!" What will happen to me if I do?"....."Hm, I don' know, you just get wet?".....So I jumped, and bounced down onto my bouncy bottom, with my handsstill taped behind my back. I puffed out my cheeks and pursed my lips asif I were spouting water. "Glub!.
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