" Aha! My plan was movin' in my direction. All I had ta do was ta make sure that I didn't do somethin' stupid an' let him git his paws on me.I danced even farther back like I was afeared of him an' said, "Now, hold on, Mister. It was an accident. Ya don't need ta git so riled over an accident." Don't tell me what I kin an' can't do, ya piss-ant. I aim ta beat ya ta a pulp ta teach ya how ta act around yer betters."OK, that was what I had been waitin' fer. He had made a serious threat toward me, an' most everybody what counted had heard him say it. Shit, he was enough bigger than me ta make that threat become reality, an' everybody in the saloon knew it. Now I could justify shootin' him in self defense. In fact, I'll bet that most of the people in the town would welcome me doin' it!I said in a kind of tremulous voice, "Now, hold on mister. I know that ya could beat the shit out of me ifen I gave ya the chance. But, ya better know this—I ain't gonna give ya that chance. Ifen ya don't. Samantha was a pretty girl, not really beautiful but pretty. Not the brightest one but not a totally airhead either. And as far as I knew she was not wittingly a mean person. Just maybe a bit of an easy one."Sam, it is not that. I just would not really be very good company right now. I think they used you to get Marie to dump me."And I was not supposed to make her cry. Shit. I hugged her gently."Please Sam, do not cry. It was not your fault, you could not know. I'm not blaming you." But you must hate me now." Trust me, I don't. Maybe we can think about going out some time later. OK?"Talk about lighting up. She nodded and I wiped away the tears she had and kissed her forehead before going away. I was a bit worried about that promise I made. I really was not sure if I would ever be up to it.By the end of the day I started to hurt. My last class would have been PE but there was no way I would have done anything. The teacher did not like me just sitting and reading but he did not make in.
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