The silence is deafening . The room is full of conversation but our table has none. Just the occasional clink of a fork on our plates. Dinner ends and we leave the restaurant and walk out in a small alley toward my truck. She starts talking to me once we are outside. ‘Do you like my dress and boots?’ I look at her and she is beautiful. The little black skirt she is wearing and black top look so good on her. The boots she is wearing is a perfect compliment to her outfit. She looks perfect. I look at her and say ‘ Yes I like it very much, you look beautiful.’ She smiles and says ‘You didn’t notice it until i asked you.’ She was right I was so wrapped up in being late and the music volume I had completely ignored her. ‘I apologize for not noticing inside, I was too wrapped up in the loud music.’ She stops and says ‘I bought this outfit just for this date. I wanted to look good for you.’ I smile at her and apologize again. She looks at me and says ‘ Stop apologizing, just talk to me, act. I pitched my offer out of the car window: She had to stay sober, she had to get a job, and she had to help with the household chores. Eighty dollars rent a month until she found a job. She hesitated for a moment, then accepted and got into the car. Poor woman, I thought. She didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter.On the way home I glanced over at Amanda’s chest. As usual, she wasn’t wearing a bra. My God, how trashy could a person get? My heart started beating a bit faster, and I felt a stirring in my pants. Of course, I knew that Amanda had no sexual interest in me. I was just another pawn in her game, another object of manipulation. To be perfectly honest, I was probably just a notch or two above Jimmy in the social hierarchy. No matter. At least I could revel in the idea that I was truly helping another human being, even if it was just for today.We arrived at my house. I was taking a big risk by letting her stay with me. In my years of working with addicts, I knew how.
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