Now the next question is a little harder. How many seconds are there in a year?” Again, Forrest thinks and thinks. Finally he answers “12”. St. Peter - “How did you come up with that answer Forrest?” Forrest “Well, there’s January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd...”, and St. Peter interrupts “Well, yes, again, not the answer I was expecting, but correct in its own way.” “Final question Forrest. What is the first name of God?” Forrest immediately speaks up, “Why that is easy St Peter, it is Andy!” St Peter replies “Why do you think it is Andy, Forrest?” “From the hymn St. Peter, ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me” said Forrest in a sing-song voice. St. Peter stares at him for a minute, then opens the gate “Run, Forrest, Run”For nurses -What is the difference between a nurse and a toilet seat? A toilet seat only has to face one asshole at a time!What is long and black and hangs around an asshole? A stethoscope!This one is compliments of AttilaA brand new automation technology has. Pardon my French, but it was so fucking annoying to walk around the school and hear everybody call Marcus “Priiiiimetime”, exaggerating and emphasizing the word every single time. It was just my luck that I had multiple classes with him every year, and senior year was brutal. In class, he would prattle on about his conquests and brag about his ability to pull just about any girl. Marcus often liked picking on me the most, because unlike other girls, I wasn’t a promiscuous whore, or I figured I wasn’t. He told me I shouldn’t play so hard to get, but I would just roll my eyes at him. I’m a short, overly tanned Hispanic girl with a way too big butt that causes me to jump up and down every morning when attempting to put jeans on. Marcus liked to call me out on my ass, oftentimes pinching it, slapping it, grabbing it and telling me that I should, ‘let him get a crack it’. I consistently had verbal artillery for Marcus, too. He learned the hard way that if he was going to pinch my ass, he.
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