She was becominga right Sweater, what the Yanks call a jock, sports-mad. As well as theschool she was in a local team and star of their Under-14 team. Whileit meant Mum and/or Dad driving her around a lot it worked for them.Dawn burning off her endless energy on sports made for less domesticdisasters as she clattered around the house like a minature typhoon.Something a bit odd happened just after her 13th birthday. Mum haddriven Dawn to a game and it was just me and Dad and he'd just started acomedy on the viewer. I'd got myself a bowl of ice-cream, without eventhinking I curled up next to him and hauled his arm around me. I feltutterly content as I cuddled-up, ate my ice-cream and giggled at theantics on the screen. I finished my bowl, put it on the table and,before putting his arm back, kissed his cheek."Love you Dad." Love you too."I didn't think any of that in advance, it just happened. If I sometimesworried about who I truly was, I loved my Dad, as my father. I loved. Avanna, not a Broodmother? Faren, alive? I wriggled, trying to sink further into Alistair, flailing and grabbing at him until he wrapped me in a bone-creaking embrace, holding me close as I finally let loose and wailed, letting go of all the fear, the guilt, the mind-numbing exhaustion and defeat.He just held me, allowing me to cling to him and use him as an anchor, my port in the storm. It took a few minutes for the tempest to abate, and when it did, my tears had mingled with the sweat of our recent exertion to leave me feeling distinctly sticky. I didn’t care, as long as Alistair held me and didn’t let go.Finally cried out, I told him everything. The fight, Faren’s capture, the awkward deal I made with the Architect to keep Faren alive, our presumed rescue once Avanna reached Soldier’s Peak. Faren’s bloodletting, our dismay at being fed horse meat – and assuming our rescue was no longer likely. My hallucinations as I desperately tried to stay awake. And finally, I told him about.
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