This was just too much fun to let pass!I said something in Japanese to Connie, hoping it sounded like Comanche to the other men in the room. She gave me a funny look and I returned her a sly wink.“Now you’ve done it friend,” I said. “Just stand still and everyone stay calm, while I try to save your life.”As soon as I said that, Connie rattled off some real Comanche and jiggled the knife a little. The big man looked at me uncomprehendingly, so I made up a translation.“She said that she was going to cut out your tongue for insulting her husband. Well, that’s better than I hoped because the last man to insult me is a eunuch now. I’m afraid you just made a grave error, amigo, because my woman is the daughter of the Comanche War Chief, Knock-a-Homma, bravest of the Braves. She is my woman because she was too mean for any of the braves of her tribe. I lost a bet with her father and had to take her. Her Indian name is Fawn Who Castrates Grizzlies.”The man’s eyes grew as big as tea saucers. I really did love her. What the hell happened to me?My wife made me move into the guest room until things were finalized. How did I respond? In the old days someone would have said I hardened my heart. I went into self-pity, but mad as hell mode. I slept at the house, but didn’t interact with my wife at all.Then the third event that drove me to self-awareness hit me like a bullet to the brain. On the way back from seeing her lawyer, Linda was in a bad accident. She never knew what hit her, and she died on impact. Some shithead kid texting ran a light and hit her broadside.What was my first thought when the policeman at the door told me? ‘Good. Saves legal fees and half of my assets.’ My brain processed that horrible thought and less than a second later, I realized the monster I’d become. For the first time since I broke my arm when I was eleven years old, I felt tears running down my face.I cried because I really did love Linda.I agonized because I now had a clear picture of what I’d.
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