"Gee wow, Harry. You're a selfish fucking pig and cheap to boot. I do like your wife, though. She is sweet and pretty and deserves better than having to do this shit just so you can get your little stiffy off."As I sip my latte, I mull it over and a little plan floats up in my head. After a few minutes, I decide I like it. I check my schedule and text him an okay, then make a couple of calls.It's Tuesday night and I find her sitting in the corner of a big, deep couch in the den, watching some tv dribble. She is middle-aged, a bit doughy, and wearing a cheap black nightie that only a man would think was sexy. Despite the poor choice of hair color and garish lipstick, she has a cute round face with lovely brown doe eyes and a perfect button nose. She looks a little tense sitting there, her eyes flicking to the phone laying on her thigh, waiting for her cue."Evening, Margie, how are you?" I ask quietly and her head jerks up with a start."Oh! Hi, I guess I'm okay. Wait, aren't you. "And I'll sing you to sleep, after the lovin', with a song I just wrote yesterday." I sang."What?" Oh wait. I'm not supposed to sing that for another half-an-hour." What are you talking about." You'll figure it out," I told her as, in one motion, I came in, scooped her up, and kicked the door closed. "I have great faith in you," I said as I climbed the stairs toward her bedroom."What's gotten into you," Robbie giggled."Well, yesterday Mrs McGinty was wearing these black fishnet stockings..." I nudged her door open with my foot, carried her in, and deposited her on her bed."Mrs McGinty, huh?" Mrs McGinty, the cafeteria lady, was about sixty years old, weighed about three hundred pounds, and thankfully wore long skirts so that I'd never seen her legs."I woke up so horny, and since you said your dad was going to be gone all day..." You just thought you'd ride your bike over here and have your way with me?" Actually, I walked. I was afraid if I rode my bike, I might only have energy.
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