Not doubts about fucking Pete. No, loving my wonderful caring little brother was absolutely the right thing for me. Those doubts were doubts about whether it was it really the right thing for me to do to, or maybe for Peter. We could not ever tell anyone else about our love.It would be pretty easy to hide in plain sight. It was completely natural for siblings to do things, lots of things together and to be really close. But not to be intimate. Not kissing each other in public or Peter placing his hand even briefly on my butt like it just had been, well on TOP of my jeans.Leaving Steve had definitely been the right thing for me to do for me. Which wasn’t saying the same thing as saying that my claiming Peter as mine was the right thing for me to do to, or for him. I could have put myself back out there into the fray.I had boyfriends and even a couple of lovers before Steve. I could do it again, but those others would not, could not possibly hold up in comparison with Pete. It was. .. I never intended for... Please give me a chance to explain." Yes, what?" I said."Yes I... I was going to have sex with him." Do you love him?" I asked."No. Well... No. I don't love him," she said. "Not the way I love you."I said, "What the fuck does that mean?"Sonya said, "I don't think I could ever explain it to you. It's just too complicated. I am not sure I understand it myself." Well you better fucking try," I said, "because if you don't I am out of here and our marriage is over."Sonya said, "Is there a chance you could ever forgive me?"I said, "I don't know. Maybe if you can explain how this could happen there could be a chance, but without an explanation there is no fucking chance in hell."Sonya put her head into her hands and began to sob again."I never intended for any of this to happen," she said. "I am so sorry I hurt you. I want to be able to explain this to you but I can't seem to concentrate right now. I don't know how to begin." You can start by you answering some.
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