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I place great importance on photographs. Little squares of paper specifically designed to make you recall memories, good or bad, like magic. I have wanted a picture with you forever. Anything. But even when I mention it, it gets denied. I blame it on lack of time but have always been fearful that it will end the same way for me. Finally getting a photo together and seeing that same unloving fake smile in your eyes as I did his.Now when I leave you, I do not cry. It's easy for me to get in my car and race away. Thinking how stupid I was for expecting anything at all from you. Blaming myself for being in the wrong mindset for the encounter. Having the wrong personality for the meeting. If I go into each date thinking we are only friends, then I am never disappointed. However, if I expect sex and love and dreams, then I am always disappointed.I dream of you taking control for once in your life, of your life. You running to me, wanting me, and actually taking me. Letting me see you be. Literally. I took the trails in the woods, still getting some sun while keeping in the shade to keep cool. At first there were many passerbys, but soon they became few and far between as I reached deeper into the woods. After a long while of seeing nobody, I realized I was quickly approaching a petite little thing. She was walking along slowly, making her way through the woods in nothing more than a pair of flip flops and a sun dress. Her swaying hemline caught my eyes but her bouncing cheeks, visible under the thin dress material, held them. We traveled along that way for a short while before I caught myself stuck in creeper mode. I decided to stop for a break and let her continue on out of distance. Sitting upon a nearby rock I got out my water and intentionally stared out into the woods off of the path and drank. I gave her a couple of minutes to get a lead and then stood to restart my own trek. As soon as I turned back to the path however, I found her standing just as far away on.
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