If your wife is blocking your view of the TV and you're missing the game, don't say a word. No matter what you say, all she's going to hear is, "Get your big fat ass out of the way. I'm missing my game."Calmly wait until she moves from blocking the TV and continue watching the game. If you missed anything important, you can always catch the replay or it will be on the eleven o'clock news. Believe me, you'll be glad you waited.While we are talking about asses, I should tell you about what happened while my wife was cleaning the BBQ grill. I mentioned to her that her ass was the same width as the grill. It was a big mistake. She didn't say anything to me at the time but you have to remember that women never forget any negative statements made by their husbands.My wife still brings up stuff I said twenty years or more ago. They say elephants have great memories. My wife has them beat by a mile when it comes to things that I've said or done.Later that night I was horny as hell. I slipped. Above the diminutive fish bones that had once been his hips, legs andfeet, new fish vertebrae and hundreds of tiny fish ribs wrapped about hisliver kidneys and intestines. These elongated under a network ofichthyoidian muscle that extended into the parts of the tail where onewould have expected thighs of a more mammalian creature. Only hisstomach remained above the transition between human and fish. A neworgan formed from what had been the appendix. Arron felt and woulddiscover that this was a swim bladder. That would be used to maintain aneutral buoyancy.Then a burning sensation happened in his throat. Something felt wrong,his nose was still connected to his lungs. What was happening to hismouth and esophagus. New muscles, tendons and connections formed aroundhis vocal coords, that would allow him to still talk, and make soundsunderwater. Each breath through the nose he took, seemed shallower likehis lungs were contracting and merging together shrinking into halftheir.
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