" The unexpected guest star said in a snarky tone, "five million streams. By the end of today you will have beaten the skateboarding cat." The pasta flew around Lisa's bedroom making sarcastic comments to the web cam about the posters that she had used to cover her walls during a pubescent boy band crush and hadn't bothered to change since. But the deity saved his greatest contempt for the prop she had brought to the exercise. "Bolognese? Really?" the spaghetti monster asked the camera. It picked up a scoop full with the ladle and poured it back into the pot, "Is that a way to greet a pasta based life-form?" "I, I, didn't think you would be here," Lisa stammered. "Oh, I, know, I KNOW!" the pasta thundered, "I am omnipresent and omniscient, remember. I know everything that was, is and ever fucking shall be!" "It's not my fault, not my fault!" Lisa began to cry.The unexpected guest was surprisingly needy considering that he was an omnipotent deity. "Sorry, sorry, I know that, I know. "What is it darling?" her mother asked."Look at the funny lady," the small tot said, still staring at me.I smiled at her and waved with one of my arms, she tentatively waved back, clinging to her mother.Her mother looked at me and smiled apologetically. "Don't stare, sweetheart. It's not polite," she told her young daughter. The girl turned back to the front, giving me only the occasional glance, anticipation of her upcoming treat warring with the fascination I held.It was oddly refreshing to be stared at with the sense of wonder the little child had in her eyes. Not hate, or fear, or revulsion, just simple joy and surprise at the strangeness of the world. I got the feeling that to a child of that age, many things, mundane and unusual, held such joy and wonder. It made me feel a bit more normal. I shuffled towards the front of the queue, the little girl in front of me was soon picking out her ice cream, a brightly coloured pink animal of some kind. Once she was given this I was no.
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