I never saw Mario again, and while the ship sailed across the Indian Ocean, one of the ship’s mates, under the captain’s orders, was by my side throughout the day when I came out on deck.I cannot say I didn’t appreciate the cocking of the captain during the remainder of the voyage, but I did not forget that there were men, like Mario, who could do it better—or that, despite only being fourteen, I would not continue seeking such men out.SETTLING IN AT GLORIANA: DANIEL“Daniel, this is Russell Singleton, your plantation overseer,” the solicitor, Gilbert Murdoch, who had been sent to meet my ship from England and, eventually, to convey me to my family’s plantation said, as we descended from the carriage that had carried us down the long, tree-shadowed drive from the main road to the big house at Gloriana, my family’s—now my—rubber plantation. Murdoch, the twenty-five-year-old son of his family’s firm, was being dedicated to settled me in country holding. It was still unclear what adult. It hurt particularly more because throughout the relationship she would tell me how she was never attracted to black guys at all. So it really felt like a betrayal to find this out.It messed with my head for a while after. Any time I would be looking at porn and saw a thumbnail of an interracial video it would make me angry and almost instantly turn me off. Slowly though, it began to change. Now instead of getting turned off by seeing it, I found myself only masturbating to interracial videos. I would watch them and see how much pleasure these white girls were getting from those thick long black cocks. Seeing girls cream all over those dark shafts. Hearing them say naughty things about how they were sluts for black cock and their white boyfriends just didn't compare moaning for more. Then instead of focusing on the girls I would focus on the men. How muscular they were, how dark their skin was, how big their cocks were. I soon became jealous that these girls could receive them but I.
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