The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull."The next two are Compliments of mousepotatoesThree little old ladies are sitting on the nursing home porch talking about this and that.One holds her hands about a foot apart and says "I remember going to the store and buying cucumbers this long."Another one says, "Yeah and you could get oranges this bit around," giving a good dimension with her hands.The last little lady says, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I know who you're talking about."A bit dated but you will get the point...Raymond & Bubba, ( mechanical engineers for theState of Alabama) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.A woman walked by and asked what they were doing."We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."The woman said, "Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox." She loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement,. " I think you're trying to show your contempt for me!" No, professor," he replied. "I'm trying to hide it." The class admired his wit in silence."Detention, Mr. Thomas. I will see you at my office one hour after dinner." Dean nodded resignedly. By now the students knew what detention with Delores Umbridge meant. Many of them had encountered the quill, Dean several times and now past caring. During his most recent confinement in Umbridge's office, he had taken advantage of her want of attention, and had etched into his hand the words, "Umbridge is a git." He'd returned in triumph to the common room to display his scarred hand.Imogen continued to read the third year Defence text in silence, struggling not to laugh at the exchange she had just heard. Umbridge was so thick - it was impossible for her to get into a battle of words with a student without being bested. After her first class with Umbridge, Imogen had been very careful not to provoke her - her mission would be a complete.
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