Not yet.I am entitled to some self-pity, am I not? For God's sake, it has been an hour now. Leave me some slack, will you? Please, for a minute hold back your damned advice on how a real man should act. Fuck you. I don't even believe you have a wife yourself. So stuff your easy shit talk.I should hate her, you say.But what shabby hate is that? What's the value of it? You don't even know what love is. Be honest. Do you really? I don't think so. I loved her, man. I still love her, dammit. And now look! Watch how my heart twitches in my hands. It is bleeding to death.Look!Ah yes. Now your real men's eyes look away, eh? Why do you look away? Are you afraid of some blood?Or are you disgusted with a man showing his feelings?Anne and I have been married for almost nine years.I guess it is a cliché to say they were the best years of my life. But they were. They were magical and yet so very common. There was the simple ease of being together. The understanding. There was the warm,. ”“Maybe. I don’t feel like I was a conquest, because we actually dated before that happened, including double-dates with his friends Pete and Melanie. But I don’t think he could ever have just one girl.”“That’s going to make marriage a problem.”“It is. At some point he’s going to have to decide on one girl and stick with her.”“You?”“At this point, I doubt it.”We played to a draw and switched colors, and I opened with Queen’s Gambit.“How good were you?” I asked.“Very!” she smirked. “Oh, you mean at chess?”I laughed, “Nice. Yes, at chess.”“Class B. You?”“I had just made Class A when I graduated, but I play rarely now. I just don’t have the time with everything else going on in my life — school, karate, church, friends, and being the RA.”“Same here, in terms of time, but I never really looked for anyone to play. I guess I have better things to do than study chess moves for hours a day.”“That was what it always came down to for me,” I said. “You have to dedicate yourself to it. What else.
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