Sunday, October 17th 1979 Mum's been acting differently toward me ever since that incident last weekend in bed. I was terrified that she would tell my friends or her friends of what happened with me in bed. I keep feeling ashamed when her friends are over, and I was scared to bring my own friends to our home. Will she tell her friends I wet the bed?Friday, March 4th 1980Before we were about to sleep last night, Mum gave me this sad look. She said that my penis is deformed, and asked whether I masturbate much. When I asked her what masturbate was, she laughed. She told me to lower my shorts. She said that my penis was curved when it should be straight. She said she will talk to her Doctor and everything will be okay. Sunday, August 7th, 1980It's getting so weird that Mum wants to keep checking my penis to see whether I was actually deformed. I let her take my shorts off. This time, she immediately started touching me in a way as to produce an erection to my penis. I felt embarrassed. Vielleicht sein Instinkt für Gefahren, die man lange spürt bevor sie sich in die Wirklichkeit kristallisieren. Vielleicht war es aber auch nur das Wildrei-Pökölt vom Abend. Jedenfalls hatte er Durst. Also stand er auf und ging ans Fenster wo der Irdene Krug mit dem kühlen Wasser stand.Er machte sich gar nicht erst die Mühe sich das Wasser in die bereitstehende Tasse zu schütten sondern trank in tiefen Zügen aus dem Krug.Am Stand der zwei sichtbaren Monde erkannte er das es gerade erst kurz nach der Mitte der Nacht war. Es würde noch mindestend drei Stunden dauern bis die Sonne wieder einen neuen Tag beleuchten würde. Die paar Häuser der kleinen Stadt, nein, - Haschuu war doch mehr ein Dorf, korrigierte er sich, lagen in tintiger Finsternis. Deshalb fanden seine Augen auch sofort beim Blick aus dem Fenster das mit Saellederhäuten bespannt war, den Flecken beweglichen Lichts der nicht in dieses Nachtbild passte. Saels waren eine Sorte grosser Süsswasserseefische deren Haut bei.
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