He sat there for a few moments to gather all the confidence he could muster. He had spent his life looking into womens’ eyes and lying to them. He only hoped that his skills as a con man would translate over to the situation he now found himself in. Taking a deep breath, Ian swung the door to the campaign headquarters open. He was greeted by larger-than-life effigies of his smiling uncle hanging from the ceiling and plastered on all the walls. There were workers readying poster, workers stuffing envelopes, workers manning the phone lines, workers tabulating contributions. A center isle lead to the back of the room where the door to his uncle’s private office closed him off from the near-deafening noises in ‘command central’. ‘Hey, Ian! Good to see you! We sure miss you around here!’ The same sentiments were echoed over and over again by this one and that one as he made his way toward his uncle’s office. *How naïve they are,* he thought to himself. *How naïve I was.* Tandy, Jonas’. She said that I needed to become a new person and so she had me learn to wearmakeup and had 3 inch nails attached to my fingers. I was warned to never breaka nail or I would be punished. She gave my clothes to charity and purchased menew clothes, all at second hand stores. She dressed me in the most outrageousoutfits. Usually, it was pants suited for an older woman: gold lame, silverlame, red caprice, pink spandex. I always wore tops that must have been designedfor very large little girls, because they usually had Barbie or Barney or sometype of children's logo or mascot on them. She purchased many pairs of highheeled pumps in my size for me to wear.Using a chemical program she'd found on the Internet, she made me incontinentof stool and bladder; I was forced to wear diapers full time. She said I needed an "anchor," so she decreed that I would take up smoking. Sheplaced me on a nicotine patch and gum program and by the end of the first week,I was readily chain-smoking her More Menthol.
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