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I limped on. He too changed me. I blamed him but it was me who initially flirted. I didn’t have to grovel to his commands. Like the ping pong paddled software executive, it was something in me which sought debasement. It was penance of a sort for my wantonness. I gained an understanding of harsh truth. He was the inverse addicted rush experienced with Edward. It doesn’t matter. It happened. It’s the past. I escaped. How can I condemn him for what I did and what he taught me about myself?Do I have regrets? Of course. I have many. Those who say they don’t lack honest hindsight. When I truculently slapped the girl who insulted my father’s reputation in high school, I was ready for a nail scratching, hair-pulling catfight. Instead, her reaching up her hand in shock to touch the slapped cheek, her crying wail as she ran away, my learning of her personal tragic puppet shadow, changed my rage to remorse.In the Mother Superior’s office, learning, while being scolded, her parents were. He lowered hishead towards me and I smelt the beer on his breath. "I know your secret girly-boy," he whispered into my ear as his fetidbreath washed over my face. I walked a metre away, turned around, lookedat him and assumed an angry posture."What are you talking about?" I demanded."I saw you kick the ball on the beach. I have only ever seen one person aBOY, do that sort of trick before. I can see quite a likeness, so I don'tknow what sort of trick you're pulling. I like the goods on offerthough," he replied with a bit of a drunken slur in his voice.I dodged the hand trying to grope me and stepped towards him."For your information GIRLS play football too!," I said sarcastically,"and one other thing." What?" he asked vacantlyIn the quiet and stillness of our villa the 'crack' of my hand hittingthe Oaf's face was frighteningly loud."Don't ever molest me again!"I walked away trying to look more confident and assured than I felt. Howcould my Mother's plan for me to be 'stealth' as a.
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