“State your age and sexual orientation.” I was okay with the first but what was he taking about orientation, Japan? “I’ll put you down as bisexual, covers both bases.”The confusing and often bizarre questions continued as I sat sweating in the warm room. “Remove your clothing.” A stern woman appeared beside me with a tray. “Put your things on the tray provided.”Somehow I knew I had to obey that faceless man. I was wat too young to understand anything but I’d seen this in spy movies and I knew I was not in a safe place or situation! And I was always to do what adults said wasn’t I?“Your pants too Spiderman!” I sat naked and a little afraid now the strangeness had become apprehension. “What size are your breasts?” I was shocked, he was so clear in what he said but I was a boy, fat well yeah, but a boy!“Please stand the nurse will see what is best suited to fit your bust size.” Again the man seemed confused. Or was he taking the piss? The nurse, if she was one had a trolley of things,. Mike, are your grandparents from Chicago coming to your wedding?”“They’re on the list I gave to Elizaveta’s grandmothers. I don’t know if Mom told them.”“I did. They plan to be here despite their fear that Satan lives in our church!”I shook my head, “According to them, we’re idolaters, worship Mary as a goddess, and do a host of other satanic things, claims which are about as accurate as the claims that early Christians engaged in child sacrifice which supplied the elements for the Eucharist, which was itself the culmination of an orgy!”“What?!” Elizaveta exclaimed.I grinned, “The Romans heard that the early Christians had ‘love feasts’ and equated those with the Bacchic mystery cults. The Bacchanalia was allegedly a drunken orgy, though we only have Livy’s claims about it to go by. And you can imagine how the cannibalism claim arose in relation to the Eucharist being the ‘body and blood of Christ’. The Romans also made fun of the Christians as atheists, because they didn’t worship.
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