Something completely special that would haunt her for a long while to come. She was thankful that only she and not Shirley had seen the twins tiptoeing from the living room, returning to their own rooms after having watched their fill. Her hatred for their meddling seemed to have grown a hundredfold and it was with difficulty that she even thought about them. How she had ever allowed the perverted little bastards to touch her, let alone force her into a lewd act of submissive intercourse was beyond her, and once more the doubts about her sanity, the confusion of wondering what on earth she ought to do, besieged the twenty-one year old bride.She'd known many friends who were in analysis, and now she thought of calling one of them to get the number of a psychiatrist who might be able to help her. Still, this morning she didn't feel nearly as groggy as the day before, and Carolyn hoped it meant she would not have any more of the disturbing spells! She rose around noon, her usual time,. "After Rachel left, Dr.Tina was explaining what I could expect when my milk came in, and whatmy options were. And I asked her if it might be possible to see if thenew mother would like my milk for the baby." I take it that's when Dr. Tina got a little upset?" Yeah," Tommi confirmed. "She wasn't as rough as Rachel, but it wasstill rough." Tommi wiped the sudden tear. Why did it seem that theseemotional events lingered longer and caused her more pain _now_? Shedidn't remember most emotional events when she was a boy, likedisagreements with her dad, causing such long-lasting effects."And?" I guess I felt kind of betrayed," Tommi admitted. "With the postpartumdepression, and feeling like the staff had stabbed me in the back, I gotinto a pretty deep funk. I guess I rejected them."Katie took a deep breath. "Didn't help, did it?" she askedrhetorically."No. So when I went to the gym that, I did something dumb. I wastrying to lift weights like ... like I _used to_." At least it.
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