She survived, but her working days, and in fact her days of taking careof herself were over, forever.I talked my brother into setting her up in his basement, and for a whiletaking care of her gave me a reason to keep fighting. Well, her, and mydaughter, of course.Until both of those reasons were taken away from me.First, my ex finally realized how feminine I looked now, and we had theblow-up I had been dreading since I first told her I felt more like awoman than a man.It didnt matter a hill of beans that legally I had the right to access tomy daughter. My ex did exactly what she wanted, and I lacked thefinancial resources to fight her. The result was as predicable as themorning sunrise.Its now been almost six years since I last saw my own child face to face.Then, before I could even really process that loss, my mom had a secondstroke, and died. With my mom gone, my brother decided he wanted me to,in his words, "grow up" and leave Dorothy behind me.'A month later, I was looking for a. Cancer. Inoperable.Options... all refused. And now pain was a constant, but probably notfor long. She glanced at him then, watched his face as a small smile crossed overthe tired features. A sudden grimace and then eyes still closed, thesmile returned. "So. Ma bella, how do you come to be as you are? Alone and insecure. Awoman who is not and yet is, more than some born to it." He did not move or open his eyes as he lay on the rug seemingly at peaceas her thoughts ran rampant. How dare he. Get off my rug and go back towhere... Yet she said nothing. After some minutes she started to talk. Aconvoluted tale of pain and longing. Baffled indecision and gradualsubmersion as reality took hold. Marriage, disillusionment. Loss andsolitude, leading to... a possibility. A chance to be. An experimentthat should the night prove a failure would lead to... extinction. At that his eyes cracked open and he almost snarled, " Do not surrenderyourself to the expectations of others. You must be yourself.
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