I couldn’t push him off; he just went away, picking off chocolates with nonchalance, with all his happy attention and interest on that small task. I had to admit something awful; I knew why I was buying those dog…. No, that wasn’t it. I panted small and childishly, far too loudly, as Tento, picked up every last one, and after the last I pulled him straight in and close, and held him close to my face, whispering good boy, good boy, secretly my heart racing now it was over, and so thankful it was over. And then he was licking my face in tiny tongue licks. I wanted to suck his cock. Fuck. Fuck! My hand went to his sheath, then quickly no, away, rubbing my hand against my skin. Why was I so lonely? Why was I like this? These dogs were so happy, they didn’t deserve this. I thought of Tut, and his serious, unchanging expression, that heavy, muscular and drooping body, and those beedy eyes, that glossy look that looked everywhere and nowhere, and I didn’t know if it was looking at me or. As the night turned chilly, I gave her my coat and after our picnic, I leaned against an oak tree. I held her in my arms as we finished our wine I delighted in the smell of her shampoo. I nuzzled my nose behind her ear and then I began to kiss her the nape of her neck. She began to breathe heavier and then she turned to meet my lips with hers. We kissed hungrily and right then I knew I never wanted to stop kissing her. However, it was she, who broke our kiss, she put her hand on my chest, ‘Charlie, this has been wonderful but I have to tell you, I will not sleep with you tonight. I just don’t do things like that on a first date.’ I understood what she was saying but even more than having sex, I just didn’t want my evening with Lonnie to end. ‘I completely understand what you’re saying but can’t we just be together, I don’t need sex I just want to hold you.’ ‘Can I trust you Charlie?’ I stood up, turned around and then I got down on one knee in front of her. ‘Lonnie, I know you don’t.
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