"Come on, Des!" one of the girls in the Shagging Wagon shouted at me as I sat at the wheel of the Merc people carrier, lost in my day dream. "We've got an orgy to attend."It wasn't an orgy, only an afternoon of drinks and things on sticks for a visiting bunch of city planners, from Cincinnati or somewhere. The girls circulated with trays of drinks and nibbles, and there might have been some swift nibbling, or rumpty pumpty of the knee trembler variety, in the upper corridors of the hotel, but none that I observed. There were six girls in the vehicle and I, in the words of Mortimer Crippen, had enjoyed carnal knowledge of five of them.In fact I was looking forward to another bout of rumpty pumpty later that evening with Natalie, a dark haired, blue eyed young woman with a pout and a sultry air about her. She was of a similar age to Hannah the Ecstasy addict, a younger version of Gwen Birtles, and a Jenny Walsh look alike.I wondered if it was my non-carnal knowledge of Jenny Walsh which. ”“Do you think you’ve hurt Kimiko in any way?”“That’s a very good question. I’ve been honest with her, but I suppose the most important question is whether or not I’ve been honest with me.”“‘To thine own self be true’?”“Yes, but the problem is deeper, I think. How do I know my true self? If anyone knows how to fool me, it’s me.”“Jesus...” Clarissa whispered.“Yeah. The consequences of self-deception are potentially devastating.”“That’s your deepest fear about me, isn’t it? And Kimiko has made you confront that entire concept.”“Oh, it’s worse,” I said. “How do we even know when we’re deceiving ourselves? And what happens when that deception is revealed to us in some way?”“Angie?”“For one. But think about what happened when my self-deception was pierced by those photos Jocelyn sent me.”“You were nearly catatonic.”“So the question is, what ELSE am I deceiving myself about.”“You and me?”“I honestly believe we’ve been fully open and fully honest with each other. Is there anything at all you.
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