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My father taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."17. My mother taught me about. I simply told her “I lost the case.” “Hmmm?” She was confused, but at this point she sat down beside me, close enough for me to smell that haunting perfume of hers. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I told her, almost laughing “I am a lawyer, and this was my first big case. It could have made my career, but I decided to fuck it up instead.” “Everyone fucks up sometimes.” She reassured me. “If not, why would we need you lawyers anyway?” Her voice was so calm and matter of fact, I thought it was an insult at first. But then that smile I would grow to love spread across her face. She laughed that hearty lumberjack laugh of hers and I couldn’t help but join in. Soon we were both in tears, as fits of giggles overtook us. “I’m April.” She reached out for my hand. “Haley.” I took it, knowing I would never want to let go. Over dinner that first night, I found out April was a poet, working odd jobs when she needed to so she could support her carefree existence. She had moved to California from Wyoming.
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