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”This group is compliments of John MIrish jokesThe reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words. Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room. “I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I’d hate to feel like this if I was well!”Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called. He even bought her a new BMW not long ago for an anniversary present -- and get this, she begged off from a weekend in Aruba so she could do a movie star's husband while the movie star jetted off to Aspen with her two boyfriends. You should have heard the story Tracy gave her husband as to why she had to be away on their anniversary weekend." What movie star?" I ain't that dumb. Maybe star is stretchin' it a bit. But she's been in several movies -- most of them with her clothes off."What else can you tell me about being a pimp?" Well, one problem is other pimps tryin' to move in on your territory. They try to take your ladies away from ya. You know, offer a better cut, tell 'em they'll treat 'em better and such, but my ladies don't fall for that crap. Like I said, I treat 'em right." Have any ever left you?" Yeah, Karen. Big Mike, he's another pimp, offered her a better deal and she went over and starting hookin' for Big Mike. Weren't no time until she was back beggin' me to take her.
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