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Don’t do it. Don’t put yourself through the excruciating process that’s enrolling, that sense of being made to feel six inches tall when you have your induction with Miss Fitness or Mr Muscles, don’t suffer the agony of trying to make yourself fitter for someone close to you who’s obviously out of your league (Shamus had his eye on a young lady with grey pants and a sweaty bum – the amount of times he fell off that treadmill…) but further more, don’t do it to us! Shamus, fool that he is joined the local gym and put us through more agonies in 6 months than we’d suffered in the previous 16 years! Why? Hadn’t we been good to him? We introduced him to tuneful farts and Silent But Deadlies, we embraced his first curry, his first kebab, his first pint, and what does he do to thank us? Try to kill us! Our revenge was sweet. During his time at the Gym, Shamus was a big fan of the weights – we weren’t. So, after suffering one lift too many, we pulled something in his back. Even now, 5 months. "Aggy?" Polack came up on the comm.; must have seen the nav lights approaching. McCock activated landing lights."Hello Polack, How's it looking?" Not too expensive. The tugmaster is on his way back. Didn't even know he'd lost it until Slow got onto Harbour Control. This was the last in line and it broke away as he turned for home. There's a second one loose out there somewhere in the channel but Approach Radar have it. Can you get your light along the hull and give me the line along the hull. These leads won't reach. We should think about self powered lights some time." Put it on the 'would like to have list'. This suit you?" Can you come down just a bit I want to see if the hull has crumpled. That's it. Can you rotate round the hull, I'll move with you."The Harbour Master arrived in his barge just before a small flivver joined the crowd. McCock completed the circle and as he stopped and floated over the free end of the barge the Harbour Master came over the local inter ship.
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