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It was wrong. Could I live with my own guilt? What if Gary did find out, but how could he? Would he want a divorce? Would I lose everything? It’s stupid, senseless, I love Gary more than anything, I love my daughter, my home, why would I risk losing any part of that for a romp in the hay with an old boyfriend? But there was that other part of me, the part that felt young again as I sat with Pete talking that day. The part of me that said, what’s one time? I would still love Gary just as much, but maybe I could also, some how, recapture part of my youth and hold on to it a little longer. As it was, after that distressful and painful day with Pete, I stayed a virgin until well into my freshman year of college. Then, one night, at a party I had too much to drink and lost my cherry to a faceless college boy. I felt so cheated. Would having sex with Pete now erase those memories, no, of course not. Would it make them easier to live with……….possibly. Is it something I want to do, in. With an attempt to raise my left hand, a sudden pang of extreme pain shot through my wrist and up my arm, a searing, morbid pain with the intensity to let a scream out of my moisture-deprived trachea. Minutes passed as the pain dulled to an ache, yet unfortunately the short memory kept the invisible scar alive. Damp, cold air filled my lungs with every raspy breath I took, drying out my throat and tract. The overwhelming sense of confusion, and the sense of location every human possess, seemed lost in a whirlpool of nothingness. The oblivion I was trapped in was a simplistic hole of questions and noted no answers. My eyes finally adjusted to the industrial style lighting as my pupils rested upon the unwelcoming image of The Laffer. His beady, green eyes fixated upon me as his mouth spread into his sadistic giggle-uttering grin. Its glare widened as I stirred, and he spoke quickly with little fluctuation. ‘Mmm…awake! Yes, awake, good! He shall be happy, oh yes!’ his creepily.
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