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He asked if id like to go back to his place a couple of blocks away,he said i could shower and get a bite to eat.i agreed and we began to walk.We got to his house he showed me where the bathroom was so i could shower.i closed the door got naked and began showering,as i was done i pulled back the shower curtain and noticed right away my clothes were gone,feeling a little nervous now i grabbed the only towel in the bathroon which was a hand towel.I covered what little i could and open the door.I walked down the hall calling his name,no answer,now really nervous thinking what the hell did i get myself into.I made my way to living room where i heard loud moans,he was sitting on couch completely nude his penis hard as he gently stroked it to a porno.i asked about my clothes and he told me not to worry and that i should join him on couch.i stood there for a few seconds weighing my options,i cant run i got no clothes or shoes.So hastily i joined him on couch,my eyes went right to the tv i. “I suppose the saw finally did him in.”“No”, says the nurse, “Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated”.✧ ✧ ✧My friend’s wife left him last week, she said she was going out to get some milk and never came backI asked him how he was copingHe said “not bad, I’m using that powdered stuff”✧ ✧ ✧I hate it when I go to check my Facebook and I’m rudely interrupted by joggers bouncing off my windscreen!Default✧ ✧ ✧We’ve just come back from a holiday in Spain; my wife didn’t enjoy it because everyone spoke English and the food was like we eat at home.Next holiday I want to go somewhere where they eat weird stuff and you can’t understand a word they say!So I’ve just booked a fortnight in Scotland.What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet and social media?I asked my 26 siblings and they didn’t know eitherMy teacher told me I’d be no good at poetry due to my dyslexia, but so far I’ve made three jugs and a vase’ so fuck you Mr SmiffI’m fed up with people.
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