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I became quite accustomed to pleasing myself — the thought of giving myself to another man was never an option. I would always wait for John. If he still wanted me when he got home, then he would be my first and only. After four years of university I had obtained my degree in History and was patiently awaiting graduation. I was planning on enrolling in teacher's college for the following year and was excited to start this new chapter of my life. My thoughts strayed to John for the umpteenth time that day. I had not received a letter from him in almost four weeks. This was the longest I had gone without a letter and I found myself waiting on the front stoop of my small walk-up apartment every morning waiting patiently for the post man to come round, but every day that passed without a letter brought new fears. I worked as many shifts as possible at work. I volunteered extra days and busied myself preparing for the transition to teacher's college I would be making soon — anything to. The following Tuesday and Saturday saw me repeat my unofficial visits to Tony’s apartment, becoming so blasé that I no longer worried about parking around the corner. Anyone who knew me could have seen my car parked in the car park for a couple of hours each day.Tony was away on business the following week so both my official and unofficial dates had been impossible. Consequently I was feeling very sexually frustrated and excited when I drove round to his apartment the following Saturday morning dressed in my gym kit.I told myself once again that hadn’t actually lied to Pete; I had just changed into my sports clothes and left the house. If he chose to believe I was going to the gym that was his decision.The problem was that with perfect timing, one of my unreliable periods had arrived that very morning. I had messaged Tony to warn him that there would be no penetrative sex that day but he had insisted we could ‘find another way’ to pleasure each other.After a barren, sexless week I.
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