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’ She had got me thoroughly irritated so I said more sharply than I intended, ‘Look, will you kindly state what you want.’ ‘You talk la-di-da, don’t you,’ she said, apparently trying to mimic my manner of speaking. ‘I’ve never thought about it and…’ I was going to ask her once again what she wanted but she cut in before I could go on. ‘What’s that stuff your cooking?’ ‘It’s called ‘stir fry’.’ ‘Sounds weird, what’s in it?’ ‘Lots of things, chilli, broccoli, carrot, onion, cauliflower, garlic, chicken, noodles and capsicum.’ ‘Jesus, you go to all that trouble, why not just get a takeaway?’ ‘I don’t care for takeaway.’ ‘It’s all I ever eat,’ she said. ‘Have you got a coke? I’m thirsty.’ ‘No.’ ‘What’s that stuff over there?’ she pointed to the drinks cabinet. ‘Whisky.’ ‘I’ll have some of that.’ ‘Do you think you should in…in er…your condition?’ She patted her bloated belly and said, ‘It’ll do it good. Get it going with the old kick kick.’ I poured her a small whisky and said, ‘When. That was one of the reasons Her-Peas had married him. He always looked so normal so in control as though there was never a thing wrong. Infact once his temper had calmed no one would know he had a problem at all. It had been a big decision marrying into the Clam Midea family. Her Uncle Carled Saw had stopped speaking to them because as he put it. “Igot Clam Midea was so normal he would dilute the family strain and then proceed to burp in front of everyone to show he enjoyed his dinner. Her family had split right down the middle about the wedding though they all turned up because the free booze and food often meant a wild party and her family just loved wild parties. They had been married 27 years and had two c***dren, their eldest boy Gonna Rhea at 24 was a fine looking lad and Siff Phylus their daughter with her long blonde hair and sexy figure was the proverbial honey pot. Her-Peas figured with all the males’ attention she got her 21 year old would soon fly the nest so to.
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