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Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to. My fingers languidly drift down between my legs, and I begin to gently stroke myself with my finger, running up and down along my lips, then slipping to dip into the wetness that is quickly developing within me. My thoughts drift back to the beach, thinking of the beautiful people I was watching, walking around almost naked. The man with the beautiful chiseled abs; the teen with the long hair and cute smile; the dark skinned woman with the beautiful legs, who had put on her lotion with such sensuality… I had not heard the door to the steam bath open. My eyes closed, my mind enveloped in the fantasy I was developing around the dark skinned woman. I only realize there's someone else with me when I hear a noise, and I quickly look up to see another woman on the tiled slab opposite. I freeze!. Did she see what I was doing to myself? I'm too frightened to move and I pretend that I'm drowsing, closing my eyes again. I lay down full length on the slab, pulling the towel up so high that it.
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